Health QM

In many cases, your husband will gain weight during your pregnancy because he is eating with you. Perhaps you’re eating more comfort foods that are higher in calories than your usual diet. If he’s consuming these foods, he, too, is ingesting more calories and could be packing on extra pounds. Or maybe you’re both just eating more healthy food. While you have a reason to gain twenty-five to thirty-five extra pounds, he doesn’t. Most men are not consciously aware that they are eating more and gaining weight. It’s as if they are subconsciously trying to support you by gaining weight themselves. The problem is that he doesn’t really have an excuse to have a pregnant-looking belly, and you do.

Also remember that your husband will play a peripheral role during your pregnancy. After all, it is your pregnancy. A study done in England in 2007 looked at 281 males with pregnant wives and compared them to mar­ried men whose wives weren’t pregnant. These researchers found that a majority of men with pregnant spouses had pregnancy-associated symptoms such as morning sickness and mood swings. The most common symptom for the man with a pregnant wife was stomach cramps. One husband even had pains rivaling those of his laboring wife. (Wonder if he received an epidural?) Eleven of the men in the study reported going to the physician for their ail­ments, and in all these cases there were no reported diagnoses.

In general, the men experienced their pains at the same time their wives experienced similar symptoms. Your husband, for instance, may be inclined to experience morning sickness during your first trimester—the point when you are likely to experience morning sickness. This type of sympathetic pregnancy condition is called Couvade syndrome and has been reported to affect up to 65 percent of men with pregnant spouses.

When a man or woman appears to be pregnant with a swollen abdomen but is not pregnant, the disorder is called pseudocyesis. Women with pseudocyesis actually may test positive for pregnancy even though they’re not pregnant; they may even have a softening of the cervix and labor pains. The symptoms can last for a few months to nine months and even longer. Couvade syndrome and pseudocyesis have been reported in men, as well as sisters and female friends of pregnant women. In our clinic, we’ve seen a number of cases of Couvade syndrome.

Grace was a twenty-seven-year-old mother of two and was in for her third pregnancy. Her husband, also young, and very supportive of his wife, accompanied her on every visit. A painter, he was finding it hard to stay working in the weakened economy and was starting to feel the finan­cial pinch. He always came to the office in his painter’s pants and shirt looking like a splatter of color. He rarely had any questions, so I was intrigued one day when he asked me if I could stay and answer a personal question for him. I have to admit that as a gynecologist, I’m not good with male issues, but I thought it might possibly be a “dad” question. He pulled up his shirt and showed me his belly. He said that hardly any of his work clothes were fitting, and he was also having issues climbing up onto a ladder, because he was having lower back pain. I looked back at his wife and then at him again and noticed that they looked the same. Each had a little pooch consistent with a twenty-week pregnancy.

I advised him to get evaluated by his primary care doctor, who might order an x-ray of his belly to make sure there wasn’t anything going on in there. His wife said, “He’s trying to steal my thunder. He wants to be pregnant so he can get some time off of work.” He sat down and rubbed his belly. “That would be nice,” he admitted. “It’s okay,” she said, “if you go ahead and push this baby out from your butt with no anesthesia, agree to feed it at night, and change most of the diapers. Then it’s okay for you to be pregnant.” He slowly stood up and walked out the door. His wife looked at me and said, “I thought so.”

Sometimes during a pregnancy, the husband is left on the outside looking in. If you have children already, he may take a backseat to them. Pretty soon he may begin to feel that his needs are not being met. It is a difficult time for you to have to take care of your kids, pregnancy, and the biggest baby of them all, your husband. We can almost guarantee that he will respond to a little TLC. Give it a try. Maybe you do something special for him and then the two of you make a pact to do something for each other once a week. Or make time to spend with him and share your wor­ries and concerns. Many of your worries and concerns are likely the same as his.